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OPINION
Mississippi state flag

Weber: Reciprocal goodwill is answer to flag issue

Eric Thomas Weber
Contributing columnist

The University of Mississippi community recently watched our football team beat its rival, Mississippi State. The university and its sports leadership have attracted great talent. We have reached a level of success not seen in a generation. Why have we struggled with recruitment over the last few decades? The answer is simple. When other teams' coaches were recruiting, they would show players photos of the sea of Confederate battle flags that waved in Oxford.

The University of Mississippi has made many efforts to say and to show that such images do not capture who we are today.

One of the stars on the team, C.J. Johnson, explained his reaction to seeing the Confederate battle flag: "It sickens me." The number of flags flying has dramatically decreased, to be sure, but they can still be found in dorm rooms, some Grove tailgate tents and noticeably in the canton of the state's flag.

Most people who love the flag say that they do not mean to cause animosity. They focus on what the symbol means to them, which they say has never been hatred. A symbol's meaning is not wholly controlled by the person who speaks it, however. Consider that in New Jersey, buddies may use the F-word affectionately with one another, yet that is no reason to find the word acceptable when spoken to a customer at the check-out counter. The speaker's or flag owner's intention does not determine the whole of a symbol's meaning.

True friendship cares about what a symbol means to one’s friends.

If people stow offensive symbols only so that they can get better players, furthermore, the friendship is false, one of utility. Jack will be Jill's friend so long as she shares her class notes with him. Once he no longer needs those, she's no one to him. That is a friendship of utility, Aristotle explained, rather than a friendship of virtue.

Real friendship comes when people of virtue knowingly have and show reciprocal goodwill toward one another. In such a circumstance, we can be patient when a person may not have intended harm with his or her symbolism, or use of the F-word, while at the same time asking him or her to stop using it.

Some alumni have started a Facebook group called Fins Up, Flags Down. The group’s call for friendship is not simply for utility. It responds to Johnson's statement. These alumni see such players not merely as instruments for the university's pride but as friends and members of our community. The group wants to show goodwill toward him and all members of our campus.

We could not have football success without the talented young people who, in past years, were turned off by divisive historical symbols. It took changes to the university's culture, which have been hard-won. Progress has not been total, of course. There are holdouts.

At the same time, the leaders in our athletic program have put themselves out there, calling for a welcoming culture for all. Coach Hugh Freeze signed a full-page ad advocating for a change to Mississippi's state flag.

Why did Freeze take such a risk? In time, it is hard to hide the nature of friendships of utility. That is why I believe that Freeze is honest in his goodwill toward his players. False friendship is transparent.

The funny thing about treating players with respect is that it means respecting all of our community members. Otherwise, our friendship smacks of utility alone. The more our friendships are genuine, the more people want to come here. With ever increasing openness at the University of Mississippi we have seen record growth, enrollment, fundraising, and yes, even football success.

The promising insight from Aristotle is that friendship fosters success all around, not just in football.

Eric Thomas Weber is associate professor of public policy leadership at the University of Mississippi, author of "Uniting Mississippi" (2015) and a contributing columnist. He is representing only his own point of view. Follow @EricTWeber on Twitter and at Facebook.com/EricThomasWeberAuthor.

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